mcsweeneys.net: snowball's feces revisited

From Chuck Adams's Selected Entries from The Encyclopedia of the 21st Century:

Craig McMahon (1980– ) is a prolific postmodern artist. He is currently expressing himself through a new method in which he spreads cat litter over a canvas and waits three days for his work to "create itself." His use of this technique has resulted in such recent masterworks as Snowball's Feces and Snowball's Feces Revisited. Outside the field of artistic expression, McMahon enjoys smoking cigarettes and being uninterested in things. You have never heard of his favorite band. McMahon supplements his income with a part-time job at the local art-supply store, where he acts like he's doing you a favor when he shows you where you can find the watercolors.

From Drew Piston's A Guide to Scientific Expressions Used in Everyday Conversation:

"Occam's razor" is an expression used to convey the opinion that the simplest explanation is usually right. For instance, one might be tempted to explain a certain recent turn of events by thinking, "Most likely, Wanda just needs some time to think over how much I mean to her, and is ignoring my phone calls and saying she has a new boyfriend so that her meditation on my virtues will be uninterrupted by visitors." In actuality, a much simpler explanation is probably correct, such as "She is a total hussy," or even "I no longer have a reason to live."

The ever-clever Ben Joseph wrote a rejected script, titled Alien vs. Predator Save Christmas. My favorite part is when Jesus walks in with "a smoking plasma rifle" and says, "Are you ready to party like it's my birthday?"