I bring you a review of The Office's Season 5 premiere, "Weight Loss."
The Office premiere really outdid itself. Last season was uneven (but still funnier than most other comedies on TV), and the Season 4 finale brought back all of the reasons we love this show -- and then the Season 5 repeated those jokes and multiplied and amplified them. The only problem is -- and it's hard to call it a problem, but that's what it is -- I really, really love Amy Ryan as the new Office cast edition and would hate to see her leave. She brings humanity back into Michael's character, and can you believe it, she BEAT BOXES. Hilarious, unexpected, but entirely plausible moment. The premiere brought back jokes about Kevin's mental retardation, which was, hands down, the greatest part of the finale last season. Normally The Office hasn't worked as an hour-long show in the past, but that was because most of the episodes -- excluding "Casino Night" from Season 2 -- were actually two half-hour episodes stitched together. But "Weight Loss" was a full episode and it rolled along nicely because all of the characters (even Creed!!!) had screen time. And for the first time ever, I didn't want to punch Kelly in the face.
Most importantly -- spoiler!!! -- Jim proposed to Pam. She's in New York at design school, and I really thought that the writers were going to drag out another triangle between Jim, Pam, and her new design friend, played by Rich Sommer of Mad Men fame. But they didn't. They alluded to that potential storyline as a red herring so that when Jim got down on one knee, it was unexpected, breathtaking, and I squealed for the first time since "Casino Night" (aka Best Screen Kiss Ever).
I give this episode a 9.5/10. (I'm going to start grading episodes...)
My friend Rachel and I like to send each other our favorite quotes from episodes literally moments after the show ends, so here is a compilation of some of the best quotes... which was difficult, considering I could just as easily have copied the entire script. Unfortunately, I won't be transcribing any of the visual hilarity, like the interview with webcam-Pam, which was really inspired. Rachel thinks Andy got some of the best lines of the episode, but I think the best line of the night definitely went to Creed: "It wasn't a tapeworm."
Andy: I'm excited to lose weight for the wedding because... I really want to have washboard abs the first time Angela sees me naked.
Kevin: Pam, you weigh 226 lbs.?
Holly: Almost, Kevin.
Pam: Not almost, though, Holly. I mean, not close to 200.
Holly: Math is hard.
Kevin: (nods) Yeah...
Andy: Every little boy fantasizes about his fairy tale wedding.
Jim: So why haven't I proposed yet? Actually, Pam and I talked about it and we just decided that we didn't want to spend the first three months of our engagement apart. Pam's always said that she doesn't want a long engagement. Something in her past, I guess. I'm not really sure about the whole story... something about a guy... who used to work here...
Michael: I once went 28 years without having sex. And then again for another 7.
Michael: Do you have any idea what the number one cause of death is in this country?
Dwight: Shotgun weddings.
Jim: That's not what that is.
Kelly: (during an interview) I swallowed a tapeworm last night. It's going to grow up to three feet inside of me, and then it eats all my food so that I don't get fat. And then after three months I take some medicine and pass it. Creed sold it to me. It's from Mexico.
Creed: (in a separate interview) That wasn't a tapeworm.
Ryan: I wanted to say I'm sorry for treating you bad the past couple years. I was in my mid-twenties. I was going through a lot of stuff. I think I never really processed 9/11...
Andy: Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them. Or he quits them because they're unfair.
And here's the proposal scene... in case you're like me and want to watch it over and over and over again.